She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
