You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
