The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
