it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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