ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
