I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
