You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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