i need an iv and a liver transplant
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
