The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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