does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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