My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
