Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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