It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
