I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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