There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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