If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
