So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
