pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
