Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize