I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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