I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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