Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
