The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
