i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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