ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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