I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize