remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this just has baby written all over it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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