How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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