Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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