I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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