their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
