My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's Friday. Sex?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Randomize
