You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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