It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
