Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
