It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
They have beer where we have blood.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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