Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
