come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
