she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
