A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
