so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
