oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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