Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
