I wannas sexs uuuuu
My friends, they love my intelligence
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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