We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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