im drinking this country out of the recession.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
