I just saw a hot homeless man
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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