Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
