I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
