no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize