Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
