He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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