Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize