She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
