i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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