its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
