my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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