I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Randomize
