we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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