so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
