So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
