what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
