i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize