i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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