She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize