Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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