I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
