i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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