I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
