Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
