I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
