Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
