Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
