That's intense
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Fuck appropriateness.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
