It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
