dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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